The book Nonviolent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg, has already made an enormous impact on my life, even though I only read it a few days ago. The techniques I’ve learned have made it easier for me to get along with my daddy, who I currently live with. I no longer live in dread of having another messy conflict with him.
At the core of the book is a four step process:
- Observe the person’s behavior and whether it has a positive or negative affect on you (Rosenberg 6).
- Identify how you feel about the behavior (Rosenberg 6).
- Identify the need under your feeling (Rosenberg 6).
- Share your observation, feeling, and need with the person, and request an action that will meet your need (Rosenberg 6).
It’s also important to be willing to receive the same information from another person (Rosenberg 6). The book is full of stories that show how the process works. I think that the examples are somewhat unrealistically formal, but you can get the basic idea from them. I recommend this book to anyone who needs help dealing with conflicts or getting their needs met.
Rosenberg, Marshall. Nonviolent Communication. PuddleDancer Press, 2015. Print.