Dr. Taitz’s book helped me get into a better mindset about being single. She validates how hard it is to be single when you want a relationship, but at the same time, encourages you to take responsibility for creating a life that you can feel awesome about with or without a partner. She supports her ideas with specific research studies. For example, she backs up her ideas about self compassion with a study by Jia Zhang and Serena Chen, who asked 400 students to write about their biggest regrets. The group who was told to think about them from a compassionate, understanding perspective accepted themselves more and improved more (46-47).
Love isn’t entirely within our control, so we shouldn’t go overboard strategizing or planning for it (xviii). The healthiest way to increase our chances of finding love is to work on our happiness (5). It’s important to look at the whole pie and not get too focused on one slice, whether it’s love or another one. I admit that I used to daydream a lot throughout the day about romance, but reading stuff like this has been helping me chill out.
The acronym DEARMAN gives us a blueprint for solving conflicts (p.211). I like it enough that I’ll refer to it in the future if conflicts come up.
This book is a good dating guide and, more importantly, a good guide to having a healthy attitude about life and growing as a person.
Taitz, Jennifer L. How To Be Single and Happy: Science Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate. Penguin Random House LLC, 2018.
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