Tag: food

I Successfully Went to Walmart and Back on the Bus By Myself

The last time I went to Walmart, my dad took me there in his car. I bought a rolling cart while I was there so that I could shop on my own on the bus. A few weeks passed before I finally went to Walmart today. I cycled through going hungry, wasting a bunch of money on eating out, or eating gross food (i.e, watery pot pies) from the convenience store within walking distance.

Today, I went to Walmart and got some food that I like. I bought mostly really simple stuff, like hot dogs. I hope that next time and beyond, I can go even further, researching recipes and buying food that I can take time to prepare at home. I don’t think I’ll ever cook for every single meal, though, because there are some things that I like that just don’t need to be cooked, such as lunch meat sandwiches. I’d like to mix it up between cooking and not cooking.

I made some mistakes, such as forgetting to buy mustard and mayonnaise to go on my lunch meat sandwiches. From now on, I’ll shop with a list.

I also put money on my credit card at their money center, which was a relief, since I didn’t have much money on it for weeks. Aside from food, I mostly buy stuff online, so that sucked.

I was worried that there wouldn’t be room on the bus for my cart, or that if there was, people would get angry with me for taking up more space. There turned out to be room for my cart after all, and nobody said anything about it.

Going to Walmart and back today has made me more confident that I’ll be able to handle living on my own in my apartment and won’t have to go back to assisted living. I’m optimistic that I’ll be able to build on these life skills over time.

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Leveling Up My Cooking Skills

Until recently when I moved into my new apartment, I lived in places with either broken stoves/ovens or with none. Living in places with crappy conditions aggravated my vulnerability to mental health issues. Due to lack of kitchen facilities and my mental health issues, I got way behind in life skills, including cooking skills.

My mom got an apartment with nice conditions before I got mine. She would occasionally let me cook boxed macaroni and cheese there. Even that was hard for me. She asked her caregiver, Mary, to help me once. Mary told me that I needed to cook the noodles longer because they would get plumper.

Today, I cooked chicken breast to use later in chicken salad sandwiches on crackers. I put some chunks of chicken breast on a cooking sheet and put it in the oven for half an hour at 400 degrees. It came out looking great with a nice texture. It was soft enough to easily cut into even smaller chunks to make sure they’ll fit on the crackers. I mixed the chicken in with some other ingredients and am waiting for the mixture to chill now so that I can have cold mini sandwiches.

I’m excited to learn cooking skills because they’ll help me take better care of myself. I’m starting to feel more competent and independent. Another puzzle piece of my recovery has been fitted into place.

Mental Health and Grocery Shopping

For a while, I avoided grocery shopping due to my mental illness. I was afraid of how draining it would be and that cranky people might take their frustration out on me. I would let myself go hungry for weeks at a time, only getting food when my dad offered to take me into town. He offered me a ride again today and this time, I bought a rolling cart so that I can start shopping on the bus. I’m ready to work on being more independent and taking better care of myself.

In order to give people the attention they deserve when I get into the mental health field, I’ll need to be as free of distractions as possible, and grocery shopping will get rid of the distraction of hunger. I’m happy that I’m now brave and motivated enough to help myself with this.

Bad Day

Content note: anger issues

I bought a jar of pickles for potato salad on Christmas and accidentally broke it when I set the bag down at McDonald’s. One of the employees yelled at me about it, and I admit that I yelled back at him. It’s so difficult to control myself when I feel attacked. I’m very disappointed and angry with myself cuz I’ve been trying so hard to control my behavior when someone is being mean to me. One of my readers pointed out that I’ve been stooping down to mean peoples’ levels, and I told her that I wouldn’t do it anymore. Now I feel like a liar, even though I was being sincere when I said it. I feel like a failure. I’ve been thinking, writing, reading, praying, and talking about anger issues a lot lately. I’ve addressed it in therapy. But I still just can’t seem to get it together. I wonder if I should just isolate myself so that I won’t have to worry about getting into anymore fights. It seems like the world is a hostile place and I just keep making enemies even though I want so badly to get along with people 😦

Thanksgiving

I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving!

I went to my Mommy’s place for Thanksgiving, and am staying with her for the next few days, too. We had turkey, potato salad, mashed potatoes, and fudge. She agreed that we could put bacon in the potato salad this time, and we found that we both liked it better that way. The fudge tasted great, but it had a consistency similar to pudding. We’re not sure why that happened. Overall, it was still a good meal.

This year, I’m thankful for getting my Social Security, my new kitty, Tomodachi, and my readers (hi!) What are you thankful for?

My Experience Trying a Sci-Fi/Fantasy Meetup Event

On Saturday, I went to a sci-fi/fantasy Meetup. The group meets every month at a cafe in a bookstore at the mall. I like the location cuz I’m into books and coffee. I saw Hershey’s chocolate cheesecake in the display case and would like to try it sometime.

Someone gave the group an important life update, and everyone was supportive. I like that the group is a safe space and people can share things like that.

I think, including myself, there were nine people at the event. We started out having one giant conversation, which broke up into some smaller conversations going on at the same time. Since I haven’t had much social experience before, I didn’t expect that to happen. I was kinda flustered cuz it was hard to focus and to decide which conversation to participate in. I wound up participating in each sub-conversation for a little while.

There’s a person in the group who I’m attracted to. It sounds like he’s one of the regulars. I asked him a couple of questions about the Godzilla movie he was talking about, and he was responsive. I’d like to ask him out to coffee, but I’m not sure how well I have to know someone before it’s appropriate to ask them on a date. I’ll do some research about dating.

I got to learn a little bit about Doctor Who, a show that I’d like to check out. Doctor Who can remember things from past lives, which is cool, and in a spin-off show, the Doctor is a woman.

I had a great time at the Meetup and will keep going. I give Meetup a thumbs up as a site for meeting people.