Tag: money

I Successfully Went to Walmart and Back on the Bus By Myself

The last time I went to Walmart, my dad took me there in his car. I bought a rolling cart while I was there so that I could shop on my own on the bus. A few weeks passed before I finally went to Walmart today. I cycled through going hungry, wasting a bunch of money on eating out, or eating gross food (i.e, watery pot pies) from the convenience store within walking distance.

Today, I went to Walmart and got some food that I like. I bought mostly really simple stuff, like hot dogs. I hope that next time and beyond, I can go even further, researching recipes and buying food that I can take time to prepare at home. I don’t think I’ll ever cook for every single meal, though, because there are some things that I like that just don’t need to be cooked, such as lunch meat sandwiches. I’d like to mix it up between cooking and not cooking.

I made some mistakes, such as forgetting to buy mustard and mayonnaise to go on my lunch meat sandwiches. From now on, I’ll shop with a list.

I also put money on my credit card at their money center, which was a relief, since I didn’t have much money on it for weeks. Aside from food, I mostly buy stuff online, so that sucked.

I was worried that there wouldn’t be room on the bus for my cart, or that if there was, people would get angry with me for taking up more space. There turned out to be room for my cart after all, and nobody said anything about it.

Going to Walmart and back today has made me more confident that I’ll be able to handle living on my own in my apartment and won’t have to go back to assisted living. I’m optimistic that I’ll be able to build on these life skills over time.


Social Service Issues: Domino Effect

I’ve been working with the Supportive Living Program to find my first apartment. The social worker from the program said that he’d pay my deposit and rent for January. The apartment manager wants the three of us to meet at 10:00 on Wednesday to give her the checks. Over the last few business days, I tried frantically to get a hold of the social worker with no response till about an hour ago. I was so stressed out while trying to get a hold of him that I cancelled my DVR appointment for today (they’re an organization that helps people with disabilities find jobs) and my therapy appointment that was gonna be on Thursday. Now it turns out that I’ve missed those appointments for nothing.

I’m relieved that things are gonna work out okay with the social worker and apartment manager, but I’m disappointed and frustrated about missing my appointments. Also, I haven’t heard back from DVR all day, which is causing another anxiety spiral, making me wanna drop certain other plates I’m trying to carry. I’ve also been waiting for days to hear from my payee about whether she’ll fax something that the apartment manager needs. I’m afraid the pattern would repeat, however, and that DVR/my payee would come through for me after I let other things drop, like the social worker did. I hate how difficult it is to get a hold of people at social service agencies and how anxious it makes me when I can’t.

Happy New Year

In 2017, I won my Social Security disability case. Having financial security alleviated some of my depression. I discovered passions like psychology and criminology. I look forward to exploring my interests further and finding out what other interests I have. My relationships with my parents improved.

I welcome 2018. I’m working with DVR to get help with career planning. I’ll start a mental health support group for people to help each other with our journeys. I’m not sure yet when I’ll do that, but I look forward to it. In a few weeks, I’ll have my own place for the first time, which I think will alleviate my depression even more. I’m very excited.

Payee Problems

On top of the problems I’m having with Social Security, now my payee isn’t helping with my bills like she’s supposed to. She didn’t pay my half of the rent or internet, and she paid my half of the power bill late. I ran into the landlord on my way home, and he told me that he only received half of the rent. I told him that I’d talk to my payee.

My daddy and I could have late fees. We could wind up homeless. The power could get turned off. Even if we get things sorted out this month, I could still wind up homeless later, cuz starting in October, Social Security wants to pay me only $216 a month, despite the fact that I’m not getting financial help from my family (Social Security normally reduces a check cuz of that). I pay for my own food and bills.

I thought I finally caught a break after a lifetime of hardly ever having any money, and it looks like that’s already over. I’ve been homeless a couple of times before, and it looks like I might be homeless again.

I was gonna go to a temporary apartment to leave my bad living environment, but now I probably won’t be able to afford it.

The stress is absolutely crushing.


More Social Security Problems

I recently got a letter from Social Security that makes it sound like they wanna cut my income from $735 a month to $216. I emailed my payee about it. She said that my money is “fluctuating” and that “there are no concrete answers.” She estimates that it’ll take about two months to find out how much money I’ll be getting.

The stress is unbearable. After a lifetime of severe financial strain, I thought things were looking up when I started getting Social Security. I only got to enjoy that for a short while before being plunged back into chaos. I’m worried about if I’ll be able to keep myself housed. I’m just worried in general about being able to make it if they reduce my money.

It’s very hard to get through life right now.

My Social Security Issues are Mostly Resolved

For a while, I didn’t know who my payee is and couldn’t get a hold of the organization. I was finally able to get a hold of the organization on Monday, and my payee called me later that day. On Tuesday, I got to access my money. Social Security said they would reduce my money cuz of a benefit that I don’t get anymore. I talked to someone on the phone about it, and they said that it would be reduced for August and September, but go back to normal after that. I’m not happy about my income being reduced for two months, but at least it isn’t long term. For a while, I was so stressed out about my money that my feelings were unbearable. I’m much calmer now that these issues have been resolved. Now I need to find out if I can pay Social Security’s over-payment from when I was a child back from my back pay instead of having 10% of my check taken out every month. I’d prefer to rip the band-aid off all at once. Since I dealt with bigger issues with Social Security, I feel like although it’ll be hard, I can deal with this, too.

More Issues With Social Security

The payee organization I’m using is set up so that clients have a temporary payee for the first 30 days and then get switched to a long term payee. My temporary payee stopped working there last week, but they didn’t bother to let me know that. I’m not entirely sure who my current payee is, but they think it’s someone named Jerry. I tried calling Jerry yesterday. The organization promises to return calls within one business day, but he didn’t respond. I’m trying not to make a negative assumption about him, but I’m frustrated that I can’t get a hold of him. I’m upset that the organization hasn’t been proactive about communicating a change to me.

There are a lot of things I need to know, such as how often they’ll send me money, how much money they’ll send, and how they’ll deal with my rent and utilities. Social Security recently sent a letter saying that the payee got my back pay by the 16th, so I’ve apparently had money for a while, but the payee hasn’t given me any. I’m also upset about that.

There’s another issue, too. The smaller benefit I was on before Social Security has been cancelled, but Social Security thinks I’m still getting it for some reason, and they sent a letter saying that I’ll have my Social Security reduced by the amount I was getting starting in September. I found the letter saying that the benefit is cancelled, and I’ll have to use it to hopefully persuade Social Security to keep giving me the full amount.

I’m emotionally exhausted and miserable. I just wanna be able to access my money and start using it to enjoy my life. This should be a happy time for me, after a lifetime of having very little access to money, but it’s not. I’m screaming inside. I just wanna finally have financial stability.

On top of all of this, my dad is also upset, and he has been taking it out on me. The stress I’m feeling is unbearable.