Social skills expert Daniel Wendler says that if a social situation goes wrong, you can always try again with someone else (Wendler 14). This tip encourages an abundance mentality and helps take off the pressure for things going right with a specific person or group.
For example, soon I’m going to join the Evergreen Club, a clubhouse for people with mental illness where they can practice tasks. Before getting to work, club members can mingle at tables. I’ll remind myself that if mingling at one table doesn’t go well, I can follow Wendler’s advice and try another table. Even if things go wrong completely at the Evergreen Club, I’ll still have other options, such as my therapist’s social skills group.
Keep your mind open to the variety of opportunities out there to avoid stressing yourself out with tunnel vision. Happy socializing 🙂
Wendler, Daniel. Improve Your Social Skills. Publisher and publication date unknown.
Image credit: Ross, Sage. “Wikimedians socializing in the Wikimedia Foundation office.” Wikimedia Commons, Wikimedia, 8 Jan. 2011, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?search=socialize&title=Special:Search&go=Go&searchToken=6ifor6ur81nsxxbl0hkcrpq1v.
On Saturday, I went to a sci-fi/fantasy Meetup. The group meets every month at a cafe in a bookstore at the mall. I like the location cuz I’m into books and coffee. I saw Hershey’s chocolate cheesecake in the display case and would like to try it sometime.
Someone gave the group an important life update, and everyone was supportive. I like that the group is a safe space and people can share things like that.
I think, including myself, there were nine people at the event. We started out having one giant conversation, which broke up into some smaller conversations going on at the same time. Since I haven’t had much social experience before, I didn’t expect that to happen. I was kinda flustered cuz it was hard to focus and to decide which conversation to participate in. I wound up participating in each sub-conversation for a little while.
There’s a person in the group who I’m attracted to. It sounds like he’s one of the regulars. I asked him a couple of questions about the Godzilla movie he was talking about, and he was responsive. I’d like to ask him out to coffee, but I’m not sure how well I have to know someone before it’s appropriate to ask them on a date. I’ll do some research about dating.
I got to learn a little bit about Doctor Who, a show that I’d like to check out. Doctor Who can remember things from past lives, which is cool, and in a spin-off show, the Doctor is a woman.
I had a great time at the Meetup and will keep going. I give Meetup a thumbs up as a site for meeting people.
I’m lonely, so I’m gonna try some new activities to spend some time around people. The activities I’ll try include a sci-fi/fantasy Meetup, a Unitarian church, and art sessions. I’ll also get involved in a program for people with mental illness that involves things like movies and cooking classes. I hope that eventually I’ll get to know some people well enough to hang out outside of the activities. I’m nervous about how well I’ll do at socializing, but I’ll try to stay in the moment.